final destination...??

saw my mom in my dream last nite.
dreamt we were going to korea, or rather, had landed in korea, at the airport which was supposed to be incheon.
we were outside the baggage claim, in line for a bus to take us to the city.
the line was made up of all old people, as if we had joined a senior citizens group tour.
my mom was wearing all black, and she was younger, like in her late forties or early 50's, w/a full, wavy set of black hair.
it was cold, or at least, my mom was shivering, so i wrapped my new shawl bennie bought me from thailand around her shoulders. saying that it's thin, but was surprisingly warm, so the dream was set in real lifetime.
i had gotten her bags and was depositing them in the underside of the bus when i realized that i'd forgotten to retrieve my bag (the black rolling backpack that i always carry on trips) from the carousel, so i ran back to baggage claim to get it.
the man at the entrance gave me a bit of a hard time, but let me go upon pleading w/him, and i ran to the carousel to search for my bag...

and that's where the dream sort of fades...

i didn't fully awake after i had the dream...i went onto other dreams. but even then, my mind was still thinking about the dream and what it could mean. the first thought that came to my mind was that maybe i'm headed for my final destination sooner than i think. maybe that's the 'change' in my life that i've been sensing.

i woke up w/both the dream and the possible interpretation in my mind.

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!

i'm !@#$%&! mad!!!!
my !@#$%&! !@#$%&! of a sister in law calls me in the middle of the nite to leave me a freaking msg about NOTHING! and now i can't go back to sleep.

i'm not upset over the sleeplessness. i've had other sleepless nites. i'm feeling utter anger over my NONFAMILY.

my !@#$%&! of a dad just can't appreciate the family that he's got. he complains about giving money to his !@#$%&! grandkids. SO DON'T GIVE EM ANY!! he complains that his kids don't visit enough. and then when they do, he cancels on ME and complains. !@#$%&!!!

my !@#$%&! brother comes to town and calls everyone and their grandmother but his own sister. even comes to my church and doesn't bother to let me know. !@#$%&! EM ALL.

my sister in laws are either too !@#$%&! self-absorbed, self-pitying or self-glorifying to have any amount of decent conversation.

i exist apart from a family.
and my nonattempts at finding my own are so pathetic i can puke.
!@#$%&! it. i'm living my life.